How to Use Humour to Stop a Stress-Spiral Before It Dictates Your Day

I was working in the hospital work during covid. During the height of the pandemic, finding moments of levity was a vital survival tactic for me navigating the intense atmosphere of hospital administration. Managing patient feedback and high-stakes disputes during such a volatile period meant being at the center of collective anxiety, where every conversation required immense emotional regulation.

In the rare quiet moments between resolving complex grievances, the viral "toilet roll" jokes etc became a much-needed source of relief.

Trust me, there was a moment where I was eyeing my dwindling supply of toilet paper with real concern—calculating the logistics of a 'worst-case scenario' involving the bathroom tap. But once I laughed at the absurdity of it, the clarity hit: why was I worried about paper when I should be focused on the pantry? It’s funny how a crisis forces us to re-evaluate what 'sufficient' really means.    

These lighthearted quips about the absurdity of the shortage provided a brief, necessary exhale that cut through the professional pressure. Embracing that shared humor wasn't a distraction from the gravity of the work; instead, it served as a tool for resilience, proving that even when navigating deep conflict, a well-timed laugh can be a powerful anchor for maintaining one's internal stability.

*For the woman in the middle of everything — the career pivot, the life reset, the “what’s next?” — this one’s for you.

You know the feeling. It starts small — a passive-aggressive email before 8am, a plan that falls apart, a moment where you look in the mirror and think, “Is this actually my life right now?” And before you’ve finished your coffee, the spiral has begun.

Thoughts pile onto thoughts. Worst-case scenarios queue up helpfully. Your nervous system decides this is, in fact, a five-alarm emergency. And suddenly, an ordinary Monday has become evidence that everything is falling apart.

Here’s what nobody tells you in your mid-thirties and early forties: life transitions — a career change, a move, a relationship shift, stepping into a new identity — don’t just challenge your schedule. They challenge your nervous system. And stressed nervous systems are terrible at perspective.

The good news? Humour is a clinically recognised, neurologically sound, and wonderfully free tool that can interrupt a stress-spiral before it takes over your day.  

And no, you don’t need to be funny. You just need to know how to use it.

What Actually Happens in a Stress-Spiral

Before we talk about laughter, let’s talk about why spirals happen in the first place. When we perceive threat — even a social or professional one — the amygdala triggers a stress response. Cortisol and adrenaline flood the body. The prefrontal cortex (responsible for rational thought, perspective, and decision-making) goes partly offline.

This is the state in which you write the email you’ll regret, catastrophise the meeting that went slightly quiet, or decide that one piece of critical feedback means your entire career reinvention was a mistake.

Research published found that even anticipating laughter significantly reduced stress hormones, including cortisol and epinephrine, in participants (Berk et al., 2008).  A separate study in PLOS ONE confirmed that laughter activates the parasympathetic nervous system — the rest-and-digest counterpart to fight-or-flight — effectively hitting the brakes on the stress response (Dolgoff-Kaspar et al., 2012).

In plain terms: genuine amusement, or even the intention to find something funny, signals safety to your brain. It softens the downward spiral.

Why This Matters More During Life Transitions

Transitions are uniquely destabilising — not because you’re doing something wrong, but because your identity is in flux. You’re between the person you were and the person you’re becoming. That ambiguity is cognitively exhausting and emotionally tender.

A study in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that women who used humour as a coping style during major life transitions reported higher resilience and lower rates of anxiety and depression than those who relied solely on problem-focused coping (Martin et al., 2003). Humour creates psychological distance  which allows you to observe your situation rather than be consumed by it.

That distance is everything.

Three Ways to Use Humour as a Stress Interrupt

1. Name the Drama

When you notice the spiral beginning, narrate it as though you’re the protagonist of a very theatrical mini-series. “And here she is, undone by a Teams notification.”The act of naming what’s happening with even a light touch of absurdity activates self-observation — a core component of emotional regulation.Creating distance between yourself and your thoughts so they lose some of their grip (Hayes et al., 2011).  Humour is one of the most natural ways to defuse.

 2. Build a “That’s Ridiculous” File

Keep a folder — on your phone, in your notes app, on a Post-it — of things that genuinely make you laugh. A meme. A voice note from a friend. A clip from a show. A memory that still makes you snort.

This is not frivolous. Research by Szabo (2003)  found that even brief exposure to humorous material produced measurable reductions in anxiety and improved mood states. When the spiral starts, reaching for something in this file is a regulated, intentional use of humour as a neurological reset.

3. Find the Future Anecdote

Ask yourself: “In three years, will I be telling this story at dinner as the thing that broke me — or the thing that made everyone laugh?”. Most stress-spirals, when viewed from that vantage point, reveal themselves as future anecdotes, not permanent catastrophes.

This technique draws on temporal distancing, a well-researched tool in emotion regulation (Kross & Ayduk, 2017).  Adding a humorous lens to that future perspective accelerates the reframe.

What Humour Is NOT Saying

Let’s be clear. Using humour to regulate stress is not the same as dismissing your feelings, toxic positivity, or laughing off legitimate pain. You are allowed to find your situate   on hard and absurd at the same time. Those are not mutually exclusive.

Transitions are real. Reinventing yourself in your thirties or forties — often while managing careers, relationships, families, and entirely new geographies (hello, UK; hello, Australia) — is genuinely demanding. Humour doesn’t minimise that. It simply ensures that the hard thing doesn’t get to bully you all day.

Ready for change? book a complimentary 30 min clarity session( at the form on our home page) with Andelina to partner you in your emotional wellness journey.

References

Berk, L. S., Felten, D. L., Tan, S. A., Bittman, B. B., & Westengard, J. (2008). Modulation of neuroimmune parameters during the eustress of humor-associated mirthful laughter. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 27(3), 301–323. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0306-4530(01)00049-6

Dolgoff-Kaspar, R., Baldwin, A., Johnson, M. S., Edling, N., & Sethi, G. K. (2012). Effect of laughter yoga on mood and heart rate variability in patients awaiting organ transplantation: A pilot study. PLOS ONE, 7(8), e36555. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0036555

Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2011). Acceptance and commitment therapy: The process and practice of mindful change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

Kross, E., & Ayduk, O. (2017). Self-distancing: Theory, research, and current directions. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 55, 81–136. https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.aesp.2016.10.002

Martin, R. A., Puhlik-Doris, P., Larsen, G., Gray, J., & Weir, K. (2003). Individual differences in uses of humor and their relation to psychological well-being: Development of the Humor Styles Questionnaire. Journal of Research in Personality, 37(1), 48–75. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0092-6566(02)00534-2

Szabo, A. (2003). The acute effects of humor as a stress moderator. Health Psychology, 22(3), 306–309. https://doi.org/10.1037/0278-6133.22.3.306

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