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Money Story:You've Earned It. So Why Does It Never Feel Like Enough?


The money story quietly playing out for women in senior roles — and why it's more complicated than comparison


Meet Aroha. She's 45, a senior manager at a tech firm in Melbourne. She's worked hard for every step of her career — navigating a workplace where, even now, seven in ten executive roles are held by men.


Money Story - it can go many directions. Learn from Andelina Chong, Rewrite Stories on the Money Story.
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On paper, she's doing well. A strong salary. A title she's earned. Respect from her team. But lately, something underneath doesn't add up.


She scrolls LinkedIn and sees a colleague's post about an investment property. Another one sharing a "gratitude post" that somehow mentions a business-class flight. And quietly, almost without noticing, a familiar voice starts up: Am I behind? Should I be doing more with my money? Am I enough?


Then she catches herself — because she also knows that same colleague is quietly struggling. The highlight reel and the real story are rarely the same.

This is the tension many high-achieving Australian women live in. And it has a cost — not just emotionally, but financially.


In Australia, success is complicated. There's a reason "tall poppy syndrome" is as culturally embedded here as Vegemite and the Hills Hoist. Research consistently shows that Australians — and Australian workplaces — tend to cut down those who appear to rise too high or present themselves as wealthier or more accomplished than their peers.


For women in senior roles, this creates a particular bind. You want to be recognised for what you've achieved. But you've also learned, often through direct experience, that standing out too much carries a social cost.


"More than 87% of professional women reported their achievements were undermined by colleagues or superiors — not because they failed, but because they succeeded."— The Tallest Poppy Report, Women of Influence+


So the comparison trap for Australian senior women isn't just about wanting more — it's about navigating a culture that sends two contradictory messages at once: achieve, but don't be seen to achieve too much. That tension is exhausting. And it can quietly drive financial decisions that look confident on the outside, but are rooted in anxiety.


The financial picture beneath the title

Here's something worth sitting with — even for women earning well. The gender financial gap in Australia is real, and it doesn't disappear with seniority.


Australian Government Status of Women Report Card, 2024

19% per year

Median gender gap in discretionary pay — bonuses, overtime, allowances

WGEA Employer Gender Pay Gaps Report, 2024, men are 1.8x more likely to be employed in the highest earning quartile whilst females are 1.4x more likely to be employed in the lowest earning quartile.

 

Executive roles across ASX 300 still held by men according to CEW Senior Executive Census, 2023 



These aren't abstract statistics. They mean that a woman in her mid-forties who has done everything "right" — the degrees, the promotions, the extra hours — is still likely to retire with significantly less than her male peers. That's not a mindset problem.

That's a structural one.


But here's where mindset and structure intersect: when we don't fully see or name our financial reality, we make decisions based on what we think we should look like — not where we actually need to go.


When spending becomes a story we tell ourselves.


Research on Australian women's financial behaviour consistently points to risk aversion — not recklessness — as the dominant pattern. Many high-earning women underinvest, delay decisions, or spend in ways that maintain an image of stability rather than build genuine security.


The wardrobe refresh before a big presentation. The interstate trip to "reset." The financial product purchased because a peer mentioned it, not because it fit your actual plan. In the moment, these feel reasonable — even necessary. And honestly, some of them are.

The issue isn't the spending. It's when spending becomes the way we manage identity, or soothe the anxiety of being in a system that still isn't designed for us.


Money is a tool. But when self-worth gets tangled up in it — or when we stop looking at the numbers because they feel too confronting — the tool starts working against us.


And the highlight reel doesn't help. When what we see online is curated and polished — and what we know privately is that most people's real financial story looks nothing like their public one — the comparison becomes both constant and meaningless. Yet it still shapes how we feel about ourselves.


The life transition question

For many women in their mid thirties and forties, something shifts. The career ladder you've been climbing starts to look different. You might be asking whether you want to keep climbing it. You might have had a relationship change, a health wake-up call — or simply a quiet morning where you thought: Is this actually what I want? 

 

These moments of transition are not crises. They are invitations. But they can surface old, unhelpful money stories — beliefs formed long before you reached this level — about what you deserve, what security means, and whether you're allowed to want more on your own terms.

Career disruptions also carry a real financial sting for Australian women. Research shows that even a temporary step back — a career break, a move to part-time — often results in returning to lower pay, fewer responsibilities, and long-term damage to superannuation balances. Knowing this, some women stay in roles that no longer fit, driven not by purpose but by financial fear.

That fear deserves to be named — not dismissed, but looked at clearly.


How money mindset coaching helps


What changes through the work.

Naming the real story. Understanding why comparison has such a hold — often rooted in the very real career inequality Australian women navigate, not a personal character flaw.

Seeing the numbers clearly. Many senior women avoid looking at their full financial picture. Coaching creates a safe space to face it — including the super gap — without shame.


Separating image from security. Shifting from spending and decisions driven by how things look, to choices grounded in where you actually want to go.


Designing your next chapter on your terms. Especially for women in transition — building a vision that's genuinely yours, not borrowed from a job title or someone else's LinkedIn.

Moving from risk aversion to confident action. Research shows Australian women tend toward financial risk aversion. Coaching builds the awareness and confidence to invest and plan proactively.


A lady smiling most likely due to a positive money story in her life.
Joy, Clarity and peace

Through honest, thoughtful conversation, women like Aroha begin to see their money story for what it is — shaped by real external pressures, not just internal ones — and start making decisions from a place of clarity rather than comparison.

 

If you want guidance with emotional or money narratives, explore our Emotional Wellness Coaching or Money Mindset Coaching to begin your transformation. Let’s connect.


Note: We provide money mindset services and  do not sell investment products.  We work with trusted  financial   advisors, should you require recommendation.


note: Aroha is a persona. The information above is for general information. Context matters.

 

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